Going away from loved ones is immensely painful, as it takes more than expected time or sometimes a whole life to heal from those unseen wounds. Immediately after a breakup, the world will collapse. The initial few days, weeks, and sometimes years will be hard to pass by. Everything that happens around him or her will jog his or her memory. We, as humans, have an emotional quotient, and almost every human has faced it at some point in their life.
There is no rule book that says you are guaranteed to overcome if you follow the mentioned dos and don’ts. Healing from heartbreak is generally a matter of time and fortunate events.
Don’t you worry! This blog will share tips and tricks to survive heartache in any relationship. The reasons may be numerous, and the relation may be anything from husband and wife, girlfriend and boyfriend, loss of parents or partner, or any XYZ person. We will share how to ‘break’ that ache and rise ‘up’ from that situation.
Michaela Decker, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Mesa, Arizona, says that after a breakup, we often mourn the loss of a romantic partner and the dreams and expectations we had for our futures. It’s a layered heartbreak that is tricky to navigate. And though there is no quick fix for how to get over someone, there are things you can do to help you through your healing process.
- Think of a breakup as a Physical injury
Andrea Liner, Psy.D., says to give yourself the same kindness as you would to someone who has gone through a physical injury like a broken leg or any serious medical issue where part of their body needs to be operated on.
- Permit yourself to feel the loss
Naturally, you are going to feel the loss, as breakups are hard. Renew Breakup Bootcamp founder Amy Chan says, “It’s important to understand that in the beginning, your body will be in a state of shock. The person that you were used to talking to, cuddling with, getting into fights with, and having makeup sex with is no longer there,” Chan further says. “The loss will feel lonely and scary, and from a scientific standpoint, you’re no longer getting your doses of dopamine and oxytocin (feel-good chemicals) from your partner. Your body is craving the chemical fix but isn’t getting it, so it’s in a perpetual state of WTF.”
- Engross in busy activities
Naturally, you are going to miss your ex, so prepare a busy schedule where your brain does not think about the past. Whenever the urge to meet your ex arises, try to be busy with different activities that require 100% physical and mental involvement. For instance, I worked in a COVID-19 RT-PCR testing lab where I worked from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. and where I needed to give 100% focus or else the patient’s life would be compromised.
- Involve yourself in social gatherings
Usually, people start drinking and stay alone with the memories within their mental boundaries. They feel it is the end of life, and though they are breathing, their life has come to an end point where they are just physically present. We would recommend you meet people, attend social events, parties, and get-togethers where you will smile, though forcefully, slowly, it will turn into an effortless one. For social gatherings, you need to buy good clothes, accessories, etc. For women, especially, shopping turns out to be the best mood elevator, as they need to analyze the product to determine whether it will suit them or not. And then yes, of course! Bargaining.
- Do not stalk
Checking their digital social media accounts may refresh your memories of them. It’s a toxic habit. The first few times you divert your behaviour, it will feel contrived and highly challenging, but the more you practice replacing the self-sabotaging urge with a healthy practice, the easier it becomes.
- Reconnect with the things that make you happy
We naturally shift away from our favourite activities while dating, and it can be really exciting to get back to them. To make it clear, if before getting into relationships you were fond of dance, music, and art, then you can surely resume them and get involved in the activities that make you happy. Book a self-care holiday so that you have something to look forward to.
- Be patient
How much time will it take to get over the breakup? Trust me, there is no answer; just be patient. There will be days when you feel better and days when you feel worse. Your thoughts and emotions may jump around in the stages of grief for a while. The healing time will depend on the meaning of the relationship as well as its length. Don’t lose hope; be patient.
- Positive Self-Talk
Whatever happens, it’s for the best! The Almighty has decided something better for me, and his plan is better than mine. No one enters or exits our lives without reason. Being in a relationship with him or her taught me many good things, brought out the best version of me, and cleared the negative air for that person from the universe. Remember, everything is temporary in this world!
- Substitution
Most people pursue the thought that without an ex, life is a dead end. There is nothing left for me in this world because that one person seems to be the whole world. Free yourself from those mental shackles that prevent you from moving on. If a new person wants to enter your private space, allow them. Give them a chance. Stop comparing the new substitute with the old. Obviously, everyone is different; if you keep on comparing every new person entering your life with your ex, then it will be really difficult for you to happily live with anyone, and you might end up living alone. Believe me, living alone on this entire journey of life is difficult. When you are young, having family and people around you doesn’t make you realize the importance of being in a relationship. Allow a new person in and don’t repeat your mistakes.
Many relationship experts, psychologists, and therapists suggest many more techniques to move on from previous relationships. But ultimately, it’s you who have to decide firmly and take control of your life. Be the hero or heroine of the life story that is prewritten. Nothing is impossible if one tries sincerely. Always remember that the show must go on!
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